Things to Ponder

Over the past two weeks, I have had two questions posed to me that have caused me to stop and think, and think some more, and then some more. The first question that was asked of me was, "Do you have compassion for yourself?" This question took me by surprise. I am definitely not the type of person who fells sorry for myself. I understand that sometimes crappy things happen in our lives and I think that we just need to deal with it as best we can. My personal motto has been "suck it up princess" when life is bumpy and difficult. However, as this conversation progressed and I have thought more and more about this question, I have come to realize that feeling compassion is not just feeling sorry for others, but feelings of tenderness and mercy, of showing others and ourselves that it is okay to cry and be sad when hard, crappy things happen in life. Some times REALLY awful things happen over which we have no control and it is okay to be a little bit broken because of it, just don't wallow. When you are ready, gently pick yourself up and move forward as best as you can.

The second question was asked to today while I was sitting in church. The question was "How has Christ been the Savior of your world?" I think the better question is, when has He not been the Savior of my world. As I thought about this question today, I have thought of several instances when my world was crashing down around me, when life as I knew it was no longer. The one constant through out my whole life has been the Savior and his love. He is always there to pick me up and assure me that everything is going to be okay. When my oldest sister was in a very serious car accident and her life hung in balance, Christ was there instructing me,through the words of my wonderful mission president, to expect miracles. As a result I did expect miracles, and miracles, I saw. When I was stressed out wondering how my family would be okay after my dad lost his job, Christ was there reminding me to "consider the lilies of the field, how they grow, they toil not, neither do they spin....If God so clothe the grass of the field...even so will he clothe you, if you are not of little faith." Christ has been my Savior by providing me with shoulders to cry on and people to laugh and rejoice with in the form of friends and family. Christ is always there to pick me up when I stumble and catch me when I fall. He understands me and my weaknesses. He is there - most often in the form of a friend, a classmate or a family member to strengthen me and help me when I need it. Christ is indeed the Savior of my world.

I said I wanted to be busier....

You know the old saying that says, "Be careful what you wish for?" - well, it is right. Most of the time when you get it, it turns out not to be quite what you wanted. You see,the first part of this semester went by painfully slow and wasn't quite as rigorous as the first semester (or according to a classmate, my ability to handle strenuous work loads has increased, but the work load is the same so it doesn't seem as difficult.) In either case, I haven't been very motivated. I need LOTS of stuff going on in order to be on my 'A game'. I was always telling people how I needed more to do, but I was afraid that at any minute the semester was going to blow up on me and school would resume its craziness.

Enter Tedi. Tedi is my little sister who is expecting a baby in a couple of months. She decided since I was looking for something to do and I am "not afraid to take charge" (I think that was her nice was of saying I am bossy), that I should host her baby shower. She also knows that I am an excellent party planner. I said yes and then proceeded to add another class at the block (1/2 semester). The class I added isn't just any class, it is a Financial Statement analysis class taught by one of my favorite, but definitely most challenging, professors from 1st semester, Dr. Stice. Yes, folks that is right, I, Connie Clements, added a finance/accounting class of my own free will! All of that free time must really have gotten to me.

Now fast forward two weeks and things are really getting crazy. The semester has "blown up" just like I thought it would and I have added a class that requires @ least 4 hours of outside prep each day and I am trying to plan a baby shower. I have been meaning to
get the invitations put together and mailed out for the past two weeks but finally got around to it this weekend.

I made Tedi come over to help. I figured if she was going to assign me to host her baby shower she was going to help with the invites. It is a good thing she came too. Otherwise it would have taken me 6 hours on my own instead of just 3 with her help. I have to say that the invitations turned out really cute ( if I do say so myself.)

My plan to be busier has worked out. Now I have so much going on that I actually have to schedule time to do my homework as well as other engagements. It is nice to feel like I am once again learning and contributing to the world, even if it is such a small way as hosting a baby shower for one of my adorable sisters!