Wasting Time Wishing

Today I was sitting at church listening to people share their feelings and getting a little frustrated. It seemed like every person who got up to bear their testimonies was talking about the "desires of their heart" (BYU speak for wanting to be married) being unmet and how they "wished they were at a different stage in life." I wanted to throw a shoe at all of these girls. Why do they want a life different from the one that they have? Is their current situation REALLY that bad? Do they not recognize that the Lord is using the experiences they are having now to prepare them for their future and to bless the lives of people around them? Do they really think that they don't have value or worth because they are not married? Why do they feel like they their life is not meaningful or adding value unless they are married and have children?

Sometimes I think I am broken and that there is something seriously wrong with me because I don't feel that way. I never really have. I remember sitting in a Young Women's meeting and our YW president (or maybe she was the Laurel Advisor at the time), Shanna Shirley, telling us about her life prior to meeting her husband and getting married. Shanna went to college, worked in several places and wasn't married until she was 25. I distinctly remember thinking that that was what I wanted. I wanted to graduate from college and then work and experience life before settling down. I wasn't going to get married until I was at least 25. There is a lot of world to explore and things to do that are very easily done when you are single and a little more challenging to do when you are married and have a family.

I have been so lucky to be able to be more involved in my younger siblings lives than some of my siblings due to the fact that I am single. I have been able to go places and experience things that I would not have been able to do if I were married. If I were married I would not being going back to school to get an MBA. I would not have met many of my friends who have greatly blessed my life. I would not have learned the lessons that I have from being available to serve those around me. Being "older" and still single has been a blessing in my life and I know that the Lord is mindful of me and that I am where I need to be at this time in my life.

I think that in society as a whole, not just in Mormon culture, we waste an awful lot of our lives wanting them to be different. I had fallen into this trap several years ago and it took a good friend, Maribah, say to me, "Connie, this is your life now." and that I needed to deal with it. What a wake-up call that was! Whatever we are experiencing, this is our life, and we only get one. Why do we waste so much of it wishing things were different? Sure sometimes I wish that I didn't have so much homework or that I had more time to spend with my friends and family. But I don't. I need to live in the moment, find as much joy and satisfaction in what I am doing NOW as I can.

My roommate has a card that is posted in our kitchen that has a picture of a girl walking down a path. On the path there is a sign at a fork in the road, with 2 arrows. One reads "Your Life" going one direction and the other arrow going in the opposite direction reads "No longer an option." Each of us has made decision that have brought us to the point that we are now. We can't change the past, we can only control today. So my advice to those girls (or any of us who may find ourselves wishing things were different)...STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE WISHING!!! Live in the present! Enjoy what you are doing (even if it is finance and accounting homework -UGH!) and trust the the Lord has you right where you are needed.